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Posts Tagged ‘satire’

September 28, 2012 10 comments

Apropos of our Music Passion game whose theme this month of September is “The Blues”, I managed to stumble upon a brilliant Freshly Pressed piece that is hilariously informative for all who have ever wanted to compose and sing the Blues. Pop on over to Tinman’s blog and see his irreverent tongue-in-cheek style that had me howling with laughter earlier today. Thanks Tinman for making me laugh! And thanks for the permission to reblog. I hope the added traffic from the tens of … er… tens of followers I have doesn’t crash your stats. OK folks, go on over and show the Tinman some love…

Worth Doing Badly

Sidey’s Weekend Theme is “blue”, so here is Tinman’s guide to one of the most famous of all music genres….

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The first requirement of being a blues singer is that you woke up this morning. Of course, most of us did, but we don’t feel the need to complain about it. Your next problem could be anything – your woman could have left you (the Lovesick Blues) you could have a hangover from last night’s pub-crawl (the 12-Bar Blues) or you might be tired after the walk uphill home (the Hill Street Blues). This problem will form the second line of your song.

In case your audience don’t get it, the first and second lines are then sung again, before the verse ends with one line summing up just how bad the situation is. An example would be “Woke up this mornin’/Found ma woman gone/woke up this mornin’/found ma…

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Categories: humor Tags: , , , ,

In the News – Random Thoughts on Birth Control

February 18, 2012 29 comments

Strange times we live in for sure.  Yesterday, a House Congressional Committee held a hearing on the President’s policy to ensure all women have access to contraceptive coverage with no co-pay.  Who better of course to discuss the merits of women’s access to contraceptives than… well… men?  Well, not only men, but men of the clergy.

Raise your hand if you've ever knocked up a chick. OK, you're all qualified to testify.

Apparently there were a few women eager to testify why birth control is rather important to them, one of them a law student and another an executive at a Catholic Non-Profit organization, but doggone it, neither were members of the clergy.  See, the point apparently was to have some politically motivated theater er… testimony regarding exemptions from contraceptive and reproductive insurance requirements based on religious and moral grounds. Nope, apparently women should have no say about this kind of coverage mandate to be included in health insurance.

In the interest of fairness and reciprocity, I believe there should be alternate hearings scheduled to hear testimony about insurance coverage mandates as they relate to men’s Erectile Dysfunction and the associated treatment of such with pharmaceuticals like Viagra and Cialis. And of course, who better qualified to testify as expert witnesses on such matters of men and their sexual proclivities than this fine group of ladies?

Lips that touch ED drugs shall never touch ours. Come to think of it, neither shall any other body part for that matter...

Have at it, everyone!

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Of Spurious Spam and Non Sequiturs – Part I

November 2, 2011 51 comments

 

I almost never look at my site stats, for I am convinced they are evil.  And yet this morning I gave in to the temptation and noticed all kinds of information about how many visits were made to my blog, how many hits per day, what kinds of clicks are done, and all other kinds of meaningless information that will allow me to draw all sorts of odd conclusions as to whether or not mine is a successful blog in the eyes of WordPress.  It was then that I noticed the Comments summary; not the normal comments I am aware of and have responded to all along, but the ones that some robotic fellow named Akismet had sequestered away in clandestine quarters labeled SPAM…

Since I need to update my blog anyway as my Halloween post is now stale and out of date, I thought I would have a little fun copying a few of those interesting comments and perhaps respond to them here.  I wouldn’t want the Spammers thinking I’m a rude person, ignoring them.  What a fun little exercise!

“{Nonameattached}  (at) … (dot) … (com)” commenting on “Weekly Photo Challenge” writes:

{Hello|Hi} just thought i would tell you something.. This is twice now i’ve landed on your blog in the last {2|3} {days|weeks} {looking|searching|hunting} for {completely|totally} unrelated things. Spooky or what?…

Well then…  {Hello|Hi} to {you|it} this {morning|afternoon|evening}. I too just thought I would tell you something.  This is {several|many} times I’ve read this comment in the last {2|3} {minutes|hours} {looking|searching|hunting} for {something|anything} remotely related to {a point|evidence of brain activity} .

Spooky indeed…

“xrumerguy” commenting on “Song Lyrics as Masterpieces” writes:

Wonderful beat ! I wish to apprentice while you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a blog site? The account helped me a acceptable deal. I have been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided vivid transparent idea

How very fortunate of me!  I didn’t realize I would be amending my web site, let alone have a need for an apprentice.  I’ll get back to you as soon as I figure out what a vivid transparent idea is…

“Neillonghirst” commenting on “Weekly Photo Challenge” writes:

i hope you dont mind me posting this for my first post , i found up2randomthoughts.wordpress.com while searching for materials and hope its the right site to ask this question, i was wondering if any one on here has any good information on metal sheds, i was thinking of building from scratch but i cant find any info or construction drawings on one,it needs to be around 14 meters x 22 meters with a large door at the front,
there was a guy who posted here a few weeks back who said he knew of a computer softwear program to design them if he sees this would you please pm me now so i can get back to you or if any one can help me please reply as i have tried googling it but seem to get loads of rubbish, i could also do with some help with the structure parts i have been recomended to use these… (link omitted intentionally – see response below)

Yes Neil, I always envisioned metal sheds when I first thought about writing this blog.  Especially when photographing Sunsets.  Oh and your link, well it leads back to your own website of shed products you sell.  Are you telling me your friend suggests you use your own products when building a shed?  Radical Idea!  Let me know how it turns out.

“AntivesJe” commenting on “Song Lyrics as Masterpieces” writes:

Рекомендую весьма новый сайт:

Не надо составлять подробную автобиографию (где и когда родился, где и когда женился и прочее).

Dear AntivesJe,

Все ваши базы принадлежат нам. Бог, я люблю эти интернет переводчиков …

“Ernesto” commenting on “Be Back Soon” writes:

great points altogether, you simply received a brand new reader. What would you recommend about your post that you simply made? Any certain?

Ernesto, I think perhaps the point was that I would be back soon.  Here’s hoping you won’t be back soon.  I’m certain…

“xxxporntube” commenting on “Us and Them” writes:

Hi There! I’ve gone ahead and bookmarked https://up2randomthoughts.wordpress.com/2011/10/22/us-and-them on Twitter so my friends can see it too. I simply used Us and Them Random Thoughts as the entry in my bookmark, as I figured if it is good enough for you to title your blog post that, then you probably would like to see it bookmarked the same way.

Great Caesar’s Ghost!  How in the hell did this happen?  Tweeting and bookmarking my posts to followers of a porn website?  I’m pretty sure they might have very different expectations of a link titled “Us and Them.”  Sheesh!!!

 

I never imagined spam could be so delicious and fun…

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Song Lyrics as Masterpieces – Part 1

October 5, 2011 19 comments

 

I’ve been rather scattered these past few weeks, busy with work, coaching, and a few birthday celebrations that I haven’t had much time to write here on this blog.  What shall I write about?  Whenever I’m lacking inspiration for a topic, I will often look to song lyrics to see if there is anything there worth thinking and writing about.  Yes, sometimes a good song lyric can evoke a strong emotion and mood, so why not dust off the old vinyl collection and put it on the turntable for a listen?  Surely the lyrics will give me food for thought.

 

 

Er… um… oh my!  This might be a bit more difficult than I originally thought.  Anyone?

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Some Things Never Change

July 21, 2011 8 comments

A few weeks back, my son returned home from college after his finals to visit us for a couple of days. It was a short visit.  He was taking extra classes this summer semester and found a summer job nearby campus, so he needed to get back.  Well, I’m pretty sure he came to visit anyway.  There were miscellaneous sightings from my wife and me, along with a few neighbors.  Further proof? There were baskets of clothes sitting by the washer in need of serious laundering, a whole bunch of food was missing from the refrigerator, and all my beer was gone.  Circumstantial evidence perhaps, but still a dead giveaway my son was home.  I know, I know, I’m kidding and exaggerating.  I really did see and interact with him in the flesh.  He needed money – again.

One night, my son wanders into the house with about a dozen of his friends and they were all gushing about how cool something or another was as they were passing around the ear buds to his iPod.  I asked him what was so interesting.  His response was, “We’re listening to a live Podcast of a band we all like.  This technology is so cool.  Can you believe it?  It’s streaming live right now from a club downtown.”

I started to think about this, and for some reason began blinking.  I’m not sure if it was just my mind processing what he just said, or if I was developing a nervous tick thinking about the 3 BMW’s I could have owned, all tossed away in the form of a college tuition.

“So… what’s so cool about that?” I asked.

“Dad, it’s LIVE!  It’s happening right now, and we’re listening to it via a stream!   Just imagine all the technology to do that!”

Oh, imagine I did.  I had this gnawing feeling inside me, a sense of Deja Vu about all this technology and its application to everyday life.  And then it hit me.

I tell ya, the iPod ain’t got nothin’ over this baby!  It’s completely portable and powered by a replaceable battery – no charger needed.  And of course it comes complete with an earbud – one.  But hey, you don’t need an ear bud because it can play through a built in speaker, so folks didn’t have to pass around or share that ear bud. Ha! And here’s the best thing – it picks up LIVE streams of AM signal.  Can you imagine that?  I’m talking about live people, music, and events you can listen to  in real time.  In fact, listening to a live Podcast … sorry, I meant Broadcast of the 1965 World Series on that technological wonder landed me a detention in Mrs. McF’s class. She just didn’t appreciate sports or technology it seems. Luckily, I only had to write, “I will not take my transistor radio to class” one hundred times on the blackboard before being sent home.

As I reflect on all this marvelous technology it occurs to me, in many ways, little has changed.  In fact, as I look at the box above, with that “hip” guy and young woman in Go-Go boots holding onto that radio grooving to the music, it bears a strange resemblance to what arguably must be their kids 30 years later:

Devil With The Blue Dress On – probably not on your iPod but always playing on that transistor radio.

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Always a Blogsmaid, Never the Blogger (finally finished for Phil)… (via Charlywalker’s Blog)

June 21, 2011 6 comments

It’s not every day that I manage to get honored by being mentioned in a WordPress Blog title. Come to think of it, I’ve never been mentioned in a WordPress Blog. That is, until today! I’m nearly famous now! Since the folks at WordPress are probably not inclined to Freshly Press a post about not being Freshly Pressed, I thought I’d give Charlywalker’s blog the next best thing – I’m going to re-blog it here! I’m sure I get almost as much… er… well… maybe not quite as much… um… OK, well I know I don’t get much traffic at all, but it’s the only way I can say thanks.

Charlywalker, I hope the extra three hits pinging back to your blog from this entry doesn’t bring it to a grinding halt.

I was just curious.  What does it take to get Freshly Pressed? I have been known to take my clothes to the cleaners to get that extra crease in the pant leg and a little more starch around the collar.  I walk around in wrinkle free attire unless it’s summer and I’m wearing linen. Who are these folks that judge what will get pressed and what will not get pressed.  I’ve never had any indecision from my dry cleaner about my substance, unless they ne … Read More

via Charlywalker’s Blog

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